Laneway

Finally I get a chance to put down my thoughts on Laneway.

Firstly, I have to say that the music and the performers were awesome. I am so glad to have finally seen Florence and the Machine. The image of her wailing at the sky from the top of a speaker stack as the rain fell and the wind blew her hair back is one that will probably stay with me for a long, long time.

In fact, let me just wax lyrical about Florence for another paragraph, because at the very least, she deserves praise for how amazing she sounded, how sexy she looked and how utterly phenomenal she is as a performer. She bounced, she sang, she got the crowd going crazy, she's funny... and every minute of her performance exceeded my expectations - and given her album Lungs is one of my favourites from 2009 - I had high expectations.

Apart from Florence, The XX were also a highlight. Wonderfully put together sound with a great live effect. I was wondering if they'd be able to pull off the same magic they have in their album - it's so controlled that I couldn't be sure they could recreate that vibe live - but I needn't have worried, it sounded great! (Although the wind didn't help, it threw the sound about all willy-nilly during their set)

To be honest I'm not a huge Echo and the Bunnymen fan, however we DID have fantastic spots, two rows from the front, and the concert was of a very excellent standard. Don't get me wrong, just because I'm not a huge fan, it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy them (the huge fans around me certainly did) - it's just a lot harder to gush about an act you're not as passionate about.

So the music, we have established, was a success. Great bands, decent sound. Worth the ticket price.

But as a festival? Laneway really didn't cut it for me.

First of all, the venue. Britomart is essentially a carpark. A concrete carpark. A concrete carpark with a little seating, but nowhere near enough to let 5,000 people rest their weary feet. There's a tiny square of grass, and a weird fountain where water squirts out of the ground, but it is, and always will be a carpark.

The carpark thing is worth thinking about here. There were no plastic mats in front of the stages that may have saved the aching we all felt in our feet after a few hours, there was not enough grass to sit on and more than once I found myself actually, literally, sitting in a gutter.

It is worth remembering that the day wasn't all that brilliant - it rained on and off throughout and I finally had to use the rain poncho I have taken to the last five Big Day Outs. There are a few things that would have been brilliant in the sunshine, but in the rain just made an already uncomfortable day even worse.

Firstly, I have a mega issue with one of Britomart's "fountains". The one where water just pisses out of the ground and into the air, where trash gets blown, becomes wet and thus collects and looks disgusting. The one where I can't help but think "what a silly waste of a precious resource". The one that always makes me want to pee. Yeah, that one. If Laneways had been held on a sunny day, that fountain would have been great. I see toddlers playing in it all the time and no doubt drunken/drug addled/sober-but-crazy people would have run through it, had waterfights etc, but in the rain? Well, it got in the way of a food queue and meant there was a giant chunk of space no one could use. I simply couldn't work out why it hadn't been turned off and the space used for something else - perhaps a bank of picnic tables or space for another food retailer. But I did see a number of people washing their hands in it so I'll reluctantly say it did have some use I guess.

Secondly, Britomart is like a giant wind tunnel. On a sunny day I'm sure the breeze would have been much appreciated (especially standing on black concrete all day with little shelter), but on a cold, rainy day the wind-tunnel affect just made the sound distort around the area.

And onto other complaints (yes, I have a lot of them)...

• Only four food sellers for 5,000 people? This equaled lines. Long lines. It also meant that food sold out. We couldn't even buy a crappy waffle because they sold out. Not only was it ill-thought out, it was kind of irresponsible. Had it been a fine day there would have been major issues with people standing for more than 20 minutes in the blaring sun with no shelter, waiting for food and water. As it was, many underestimated the sun through cloud and I saw a lot of pink skin as the sun was going down.
• No variety in the food. If you didn't want deep-fried or you're gluten free? You're out of luck.
  
• One major water seller (though you could buy water at the food stalls, once you got to the front of the line), charging $5/bottle (as opposed to the $3 at every other retailer), with no free way to refill provided.
  
• The ridiculous system for buying alcohol which went something like this...
  

1. Stand in a line for 10-15 minutes to get into the bar area
2. Get to the bar area, get in line for 2-3 minutes to buy a bar voucher for $30. This entitles you to 5 standard drinks (beer/wine/RTDs) and is completely non-refundable.
3. Walk from bar voucher tent to bar tent. Stand in line for up to 30 minutes to buy a maximum of 4 drinks prior to 5pm, or 2 drinks between 5pm and 8.30pm (remember, the non-refundable voucher is for five standard drinks which means to actually use it all, it's multiple trips to the line)
4. If you skipped step 2 and got to the front of the bar line with cash? Too bad. Go buy a voucher and wait in line again.
5. Sit in the alcohol pen, on the ground, in the gutter. You will have a ridiculous number of drinks because you don't want to face the hell of the line again. Your favourite band will be playing soon so don't bother to enjoy your drink (not that you can, you're more worried about avoiding the puddle next to you), skull it and get out of there.
   

• Lines, lines, lines.
• Everything ran late on the day and sets were cut short which was unfair on the bands and unfair on the fans.
• No pass outs. I get this concept entirely but if you're going to heard people like cattle, give them nowhere to sit, nothing to drink and nothing to eat (perhaps an exageration but see above comments) then you need to give them the option to look after themselves! 5,000 people attended, just under 2,500 people are fans on Facebook where most of the updates and information was posted (500 on Twitter) - that's at least 2,000 who didn't get a LOT of information. Even the Big Day Out allows pass outs when it's pissing down with rain.
• No shelter. The shelter structures provided were laughable. Someone tried to tell me the BDO is the same but the BDO has the stands, the Boiler Room and trees - thousands of people can sit in the stands, in the shade. Britomart had half a dozen tents and none of them had a single seat.
  

I understand that this was an inaugural event and as such there were bound to be teething issues, but really the system for alcohol was so complicated there really should have been information clearly giving instructions, the fact that there was practically nowhere comfortable to sit should have been considered and I don't think it takes a genius to realise 4 food sellers for 5,000 is not going to work.

I will give them was the fact there were no lines for the portaloos, but being fair, if you know where to go there are no lines at the BDO either. The small area and small crowd also made the event quite intimate which I loved, but it would have been a lot better if I was even moderately comfortable.

Overall I give the music an A and the event itself a solid D.

Laneway, you have a long way to go before you become a must-do music festival and, to be honest, the biggest thing to change is the venue. Next year I'll look at the lineup and decide, but I'm not sure any act will get me back to a music festival at Britomart.